Bedtime Stories for Cynics


Nick Offerman - 2017
    The closest you'll get to having Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson read you a bedtime story, this sharp and silly series features inappropriate children's stories for adults only – performed by masters of the comedic arts.

If I Were An Evil Overlord


Martin H. Greenberg - 2007
    Certain to appeal to role-playing gamers, fantasy lovers, and megalomaniacs who want to rule the world.

A Blink of the Screen: Collected Shorter Fiction


Terry Pratchett - 2012
    Here for the first time are his short stories and other short form fiction collected into one volume. A Blink of the Screen charts the course of Pratchett's long writing career: from his schooldays through to his first writing job on the Bucks Free Press,; to the origins of his debut novel, The Carpet People; and on again to the dizzy mastery of the phenomenally successful Discworld series.Here are characters both familiar and yet to be discovered; abandoned worlds and others still expanding; adventure, chickens, death, disco and, actually, some quite disturbing ideas about Christmas,all of it shot through with his inimitable brand of humour.With an introduction by Booker Prize-winning author A.S. Byatt, illustrations by the late Josh Kirby and drawings by the author himself, this is a book to treasure.

Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate


Antoinette Bergin - 2011
    Includes "Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People" and "Blood in the Sink". You know you want this book. It can be our secret.**NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN**

Mad Hatters and March Hares


Ellen Datlow - 2017
    Datlow asked eighteen of the most brilliant and acclaimed writers working today to dream up stories inspired by all the strange events and surreal characters found in Wonderland.Featuring stories and poems from Seanan McGuire, Catherynne M. Valente, Delia Sherman, Genevieve Valentine, Priya Sharma, Stephen Graham Jones, Richard Bowes, Jeffrey Ford, Angela Slatter, Andy Duncan, C.S.E. Cooney, Matthew Kressel, Kris Dikeman, Jane Yolen, Kaaron Warren, Ysbeau Wilce, and Katherine Vaz.

Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi


John Scalzi - 2016
    A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.These four stories, along with 14 other pieces, have one thing in common: They're short, sharp, and to the point - science fiction in miniature, with none of the stories longer than 2,300 words. But in that short space exist entire universes, absurd situations, and the sort of futuristic humor that propelled Scalzi to a Hugo with his novel Redshirts. Not to mention yogurt taking over the world (as it would).Spanning the years from 1991 to 2016, this collection is a quarter century of Scalzi at his briefest and best and features four never-before-published stories exclusive to this collection: "Morning Announcements at the Lucas Interspecies School for Troubled Youth", "Your Smart Appliances Talk About You Behind Your Back", "Important Holidays on Gronghu", and "The AI Are Absolutely Positively Without a Doubt Not Here to End Humanity, Honest".John Scalzi is the New York Times best-selling author of Old Man's War, Lock In, and Redshirts, among others. His work has won the Hugo and Locus Awards and been nominated for the Nebula and Campbell Awards. He lives in Ohio and online. He enjoys pie.Full cast of narrators includes Oliver Wyman, Dina Pearlman, and Allyson Johnson.

Once Upon a Time: New Fairy Tales


Paula Guran - 2013
    Brilliant dreams and dazzling nightmares with meaning for today and tomorrow...“The Giant In Repose” Nathan Ballingrud.“Eat Me, Drink Me, Love Me” Christopher Barzak.“Tales That Fairies Tell” Richard Bowes.“Warrior Dreams” Cinda Williams Chima.“Blanchefleur” Theodora Goss.“The Road of Needles” Caitlín R. Kiernan.“Below the Sun Beneath” by Tanith Lee.“The Coin of Heart’s Desire” Yoon Ha Lee.“Sleeping Beauty of Elista” Ekaterina Sedia.“Egg” Priya Sharma.“Lupine” Nisi Shawl.“Castle of Masks” by Cory Skerry: this version © 2013 Cory Skerry.(An earlier version appeared in Fairy Tales in Split Vision, ed. Cindy Lynn Speer, Drollerie Press, 2009).“Flight” © 2013 Angela Slatter.“The Lenten Rose” Genevieve Valentine.“The Hush of Feathers, the Clamour of Wings” A. C. Wise.“Born and Bread” Kaaron Warren.“The Mirror Tells All” Erzebet YellowBoy.“The Spinning Wheel’s Tale” Jane Yolen.

Dead Funny: Flying Dutch and Faust Among Equals


Tom Holt - 2000
    One little swig from the wrong bottle and you go from being an ordinary Dutch sea-captain to an unhappy immortal, drifting around the world with your similarly immortal crew. Little does Cornelius Vanderdecker, the Flying Dutchman, suspect that a chance encounter in an English pub might just lead to the end of his cursed life.FAUST AMONG EQUALS - The management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as planned. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurers, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped. But Kurt 'Mad Dog' Lundqvist, the foremost bounty hunter of all time, is on the case, and he can usually be relied on to get his man - even when that man is Lucky George Faustus ...Exuberant comedy from Tom Holt at his inventive best.This omnibus contains two of Tom Holt's best-loved stories. In Flying Dutch, we learn of the amazing problems drinking can get you into. One little swig from the wrong bottle, and you go from being an ordinary Dutch sea captain to an unhappy immortal, drifting around the world with your similarly immortal crew, suffering from peculiarly whiffy side effects. Little does Cornelius Vanderdecker, the Flying Dutchman, suspect that a chance encounter in an English pub might just lead to the end of his cursed life, one way or another. In Faust Among Equals, the management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as planned. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurers, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, Eurobosch, were underway. But Kurt 'Mad Dog' Lundqvist, the foremost bounty hunter of all time, is on the case, and he can usually be relied on to get his man - even when that man is Lucky George Faustus...Exuberant comedy from Tom Holt at his inventive best.

Starlings


Jo Walton - 2018
    The magic mirror sees all but can do nothing. A cloned savior solves a fanatically-inspired murder. Three Irish siblings thieve treasures with bad poetry and the aid of the Queen of Cats.With these captivating initial glimpses into her storytelling psyche, Jo Walton shines through subtle myths and reinvented realities. Through eclectic stories, subtle vignettes, inspired poetry, and more, Walton soars with humans, machines, and magic—rising from the every day into the universe itself.

Can You Feel Anything When I Do This?


Robert Sheckley - 1971
    Can You Feel Anything When I Do This? (1969) storyCordle to Onion to Carrot (1969) storyThe Petrified World (1968) story Game: First Schematic (1971) story Doctor Zombie & His Little Furry Friends (1971) storyThe Cruel Equations (1971) storyThe Same to You Doubled (1970) story Starting from Scratch (1953) story The Mnemone (1971) storyTripout (1971) storyNotes on the Perception of Imaginary Differences (1971) storyDown the Digestive Tract & Into the Cosmos with Mantra, Tantra & Specklebang (1971) story Pas de Trois of the Chef & the Waiter & the Customer (1971) storyAspects of Langranak (1971) story Plague Circuit (1971) story Tailpipe to Disaster (1971) story by Robert Sheckley

Christmas on Crack


Carlton Mellick III - 2010
    A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass! Featuring stories by Jordan Krall, Jeff Burk, Kevin L. Donihe, Cameron Pierce, Kirsten Alene, Kevin Shamel, Edmund Colell, and Andrew Goldfarb.

Iraq + 100: stories from a century after the invasion


Hassan Blasim - 2016
    Along the way a new aesthetic for the ‘Iraqi fantastical’ begins to emerge: thus we meet time-travelling angels, technophobic dictators, talking statues, macabre museum-worlds, even hovering tiger-droids, and all the time buoyed by a dark, inventive humour that, in itself, offers hope.

Beyond the Glass Slipper: Ten Neglected Fairy Tales To Fall In Love With


Kate Wolford - 2013
    These are ten tales, much neglected. Editor of Enchanted Conversation: A Fairy Tale Magazine, Kate Wolford, introduces and annotates each tale in a manner that won't leave novices of fairy tale studies lost in the woods to grandmother's house, yet with a depth of research and a delight in posing intriguing puzzles that will cause folklorists and savvy readers to find this collection a delicious new delicacy.Beyond the Glass Slipper is about more than just reading fairy tales—it's about connecting to them. It's about thinking of the fairy tale as a precursor to Saturday Night Live as much as it is to any princess-movie franchise: the tales within these pages abound with outrageous spectacle and absurdist vignettes, ripe with humor that pokes fun at ourselves and our society.Never stuffy or pedantic, Kate Wolford proves she's the college professor you always wish you had: smart, nurturing, and plugged into pop culture. Wolford invites us into a discussion of how these tales fit into our modern cinematic lives and connect the larger body of fairy tales, then asks—no, insists—that we create our own theories and connections. A thinking man's first step into an ocean of little known folklore.

The Umbrella Man and Other Stories


Roald Dahl - 1982
    - The Great Automatic Grammatizator- Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat- The Butler- Man from the South- The Landlady- Parson’s Pleasure- The Umbrella Man- Katina- The Way Up to Heaven- Royal Jelly- Vengeance Is Mine Inc.- Taste- Neck

Hits and Misses


Simon Rich - 2018
    Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.Inspired by Rich's real experiences in Hollywood, Hits and Misses chronicles all the absurdity of fame and success alongside the heartbreaking humanity of failure. From a bitter tell-all by the horse Paul Revere rode to greatness to a gushing magazine profile of everyone's favorite World War II dictator, these stories roam across time and space to skewer our obsession with making it big--from the days of ancient Babylon to the age of TMZ.